Thursday, July 22, 2010

It has definitely been a crazy few weeks and trying to reestablish life as I knew it before has proven difficult.  I have not been as dedicated to my yoga practice as I would like to be and it is showing in my moods.  My mind has been getting the best of me more often then usual and that as you know DOES NOT WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.
Right now I am in my hypertrophy phase of strength training and I am eating like a horse. What a mind f*ck!  I just keep telling myself that I need to eat to lift and lift for strength so that when I lean out again there is a nice surprise underneath :)
I went to my first yoga class in a long time last night, it was beyond amazing. Beyond healing, beyond exactly what I needed :)
It was interesting to observe the changes that were going on in my yoga practice as well...
 and observe is what I did.

I didn't fact I laughed about it.

Physically I felt stronger than ever, I could have held those 1/2 pushups all night ;0
My breath on the other hand was as shallow as it has ever been. My exhales were long but my inhales were stifled.  This is what I must be breathing like throughout the day....thus my wonderful moods and crazy brain.

The craziest discovery was yet to come. TWISTING. I couldn't twist for SHIT.  It was not my thoracic it was my stomach.  
YES this was me before my second show. NO this is not me now. But my stomach is definitely still feeling the effects of being so tight.

A lot of us want a 6 pack, but do we ever think that maybe its not so functional after all?

I ended up having an amazingly different experience in class because of my struggle with breath and inability to twist. I take it as a reminder of where I have been and the level I have gotten to.

For now I will keep breathing, ease into my twists and continue to backbend even though I feel like I'm being stretched on the RACK!  
My yoga practice lets me be me.  It allows me to be in my body, feel strong, and express myself and realize all that is important to me.

Perfect Quotation to explain my recent feelings:

    We can only see so much from where we sit in our particular bodies, in the midst of our particular lives. The divine is unlimited in its sight. We can only see so much from where we sit in our particular bodies, in the midst of our particular lives, rooted as we are in the continuum of space and time. The divine, on the other hand, is not limited to the constructs of either space or time, and its wisdom and workings often elude us as we try to make sense of what is happening in our lives. This is why things are not always what they seem to be and even the best-laid plans are sometimes overturned. Even when we feel we have been guided by our intuition every step of the way, we may find ourselves facing unexpected loss and disappointment. At times like these, we can find some solace in trusting that no matter how bad or just plain inexplicable things look from our perspective, they are, in fact, in divine order. Even as we take our places in this earthly realm, a part of us remains completely free of the confines we face here. Regardless of what is happening in our lives, this part of us remains infused with joy and gratitude, connected to the unbroken source from which we come. Our small self, on the other hand, who is caught up in our false identity as a being limited in space and time, regards happiness as the result of things going the way it wants them to go. It is this part of us that suffers the greatest confusion and upset when the logic of events does not compute. And it is to this self that we must extendunconditional love, forgiveness, and compassion. In order to do this, we tap into our inner divinity, holding the space of a tender authority, extendinglove and light to our ego as a mother extends her love to a troubled child. There are many ways to access our inner divinity—meditation, prayer, chanting, channeling, and conscious breathing, to name a few. It is helpful to develop a regular practice that provides us access to this all-powerful, healing presence, as it can be difficult to reach once we are in a stressful position, if we have not already established a connection. The more connected we are with this part of ourselves, the more we share its unlimited vision and the secure, knowing that all the things of our life, no matter how they appear, are in a state of divine and perfect order. 
Thanks Jeannie Parkus ;)


  1. Mood? What mood? I didn't notice any mood. ;-)

  2. What a beautiful post Stacey. And I swear I heard that inhuman shriek of yours when saw that picture, haha. :P glad you're getting back on your yoga practice.


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